My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
