You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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