I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize