Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
