How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
