after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
