I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i believe in u and ur pee
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
