It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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