I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize