I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
