you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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