She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
