Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i out mim tonsoeep
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