At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
