I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
