He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
