When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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