I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
