It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize