all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
