Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
