You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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