Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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