please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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