Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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