Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
