Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
