i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
