I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
