i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
