He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
