I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
