Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
