Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
