she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
