have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
