im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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