You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
