Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
