You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
