Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
