I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
