Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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