How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
