Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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