on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
