You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
