Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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