I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I didn't notice because vodka
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
