im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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