your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
