i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
