I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
