Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
