Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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