Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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