Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
