Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
