so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
