There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
