It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
