and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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