Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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